Double Meals Hurt

So I'm a day late. Sorry I had mission conference so my P-day was moved back a day. This past week has been blah. It's been a slow week.

Not much happened this week besides us attending a pointless meeting and double lunch appointments.

Monday. Played some basketball and some ultimate frisbee and man I got into the frisbee. I got vicious. I was sliding after the disk, making people fall, and overall being rather aggressive. We had an gator there and he got mad at because I would try to guard me and I made him fall because I moved to quick. This gator also played basketball and was cursing. WHILE IN A CHURCH WITH A BUNCH OF MISSIONARIES! I mean cmon he knew better he just didn't care. This mans name is Phillip we will get into him more later.

Tuesday we had exchanges and I stayed in Leesburg. I got elder sharp.

I don't know what occurs at the 18th month mark with some of these elders but they just turn into straight up jerks. Like they check out and don't care anymore. It's frustrating. And it's even worse when he is critical and judging of every single person. He tries to humble brag but it doesn't workout too well and he tried to alpha male me and brother jozitis. You can't out alpha male brother jozitis. You just can't. To say the least he pushes people around for superiority and I was glad when exchanges were over.

Wednesday was the day we had two lunches. Not a good idea. So with this we forgot we had lunch and so we ate after district meeting and then come to find out as I'm half way thru my lunch and we got a call reminding us. Crap. So we go over and it this big pot of stew. And we had to eat. All of it. Along with bread. So we managed to almost finish the pot and a loaf of bread and we are chugging milk for relief from the stomach pain and she leaves the room and we think it's done.

Nope. Pie. I have never hated pie so much in my life. And she gave us two slices each. Pututau manages to eat one slice I barely get half way and we were pretty sure we offended them a little bit so we blamed it on eating to much bread. So after we get back to the church pututau runs into the bathroom and I collapse on the couch cursing all that is good in the world.

Thursday so we re did a potential gators floor which is the second floor that I've redone while I've been on my mission so that was cool.

Also she said that she knew me and she knew that I was going to come into her life. I was like whaaaaaa. I felt like she was familiar when I met her too. It was just way cool. Later that night we tried to do a trade off lesson with a gator Phillip. Phillip is 21 years of age and loves riotous live and doesn't recognize priesthood authority and the importance of baptism. He thinks that if your just going to church your can get into heaven. Gah frustrations.

Friday wasn't to exciting.

Saturday we went to a stake priesthood leadership meeting and talked about home teaching. Totally worth my time.

Sunday. Stake conference.

So ya that was my week. I love YALL!

Elder Hanson

German food and the ghetto

What a week what a week. All the days blurred into like a few so I guess that's good. You know missions are awesome for teaching but man you sure get a heck of a lot of stories out of em. This week was prolly the week of stories for me because it's just been. Well weird to say it in simple terms. Weird but hecka awesome. Never gets old in Leesburg. Never gets old.

Glorious Monday. So I went to a massive flee market with some members and it was just cool. I bought a cheap 2 dollar knife which is now my letter opener. I ate authentic German food (no joke. Schnitzel is the

bomb.)  Ate some cumquat ice cream (yes you can make ice cream out of it. And it tastes like a orange cream Popsicle. ) Got saved. Now I want to elaborate on this because this was probably the most interesting part of the day. So we are walking around and we pass a booth. Now mr born again bob sees pututau's badge. He actually reads mine. He then starts his rehearsed lines and eventually the member with us told me time to move on so I shake his hand except for one thing. The man wouldn't let go of my hand. He held onto my hand so he could keep talking so what did elder Hanson do? Elder Hanson squeezed harder until he let go. Once he let go I bolted. He was shouting at me as I walked away. Crazy people. After the flea market I went and saw the members cousin for one purpose. His wife. Was Amish. I met a flippen Amish lady people. How legit is that?!?! She is actually a modern Amish so she enjoys simple technology but still dresses plainly and tries to keep it simple. It was just all around a baller P-day.

Tuesday. So Tuesday was a normal teaching day until one part. She confesses to us that she has been to prison. This is a violation of question 4 of the baptismal interview questions. When this happens we can not guarantee that they will be baptized or that their date can happen. We also have to send it to the mission presidency for an interview and approval. So we have juggled that situation this past week.

Ghetto Wednesday!! So Wednesday I spent more time in the ghetto than I actually should have. The ghetto of Leesburg is actually pretty large.

Like scary large. Like half of Leesburg. Like half of my area. But that's besides the point. Never experienced a deep ghetto. Until Wednesday. We went into the heart. We went were police don't go. We went where you don't make eye contact. We went were people stare you down. We went where people strip houses. FREAKING STRIP HOUSES FOR PIPES AND WIRES! We went were people are animals. We went were people shoot people in broad day light. It's bad. Buuuuuuut I love it.

Thursday. So we made homemade pizzas at the bishops house and then the sisters "unexpectedly" showed up. Yea. Sure. But it was ok because we all ate homemade pizzas and peed our pants and I got it so the pututau giggled like a little girl.

Friday. Taught. Planned. Nothing exciting ever happens on Fridays.

Saturday! So it was Valentine's Day and we got nothing done. Try teaching on a Saturday. It's tough. Add a holiday into it. Even more difficult. We celebrated our Valentine's Day by having one lunch appointment and 2 dinner appointments. Lunch was meatball subs at the berrys (not president) which was pretty good. Dinner was supposed to be at the aldriches where we always eat super good but they forgot it was valentines and felt super bad about skipping out on us so they bought us both our own 2 liter of soda and our own medium pizza.

Baller! And then we're eating pizza and we get a phone call from other younger members that there eating pizza and want us over so ok. It was legit cuz after we played the game of logos. Super fun.

Sunday. Combined with the sisters we had 6 gators at church which is a huge gator number. They all enjoyed it too! Then we passed some sacrament after church and I blessed tortilla chips. Yes. life long goal to bless the sacrament with something rather than bread a realized today.  Then we at lunch and passed more sacrament. And ate really good at mama chiodos and she gave us laundry detergent and toilet paper. By the way pray for her. She goes into surgery on Tuesday for her back. She is having a 10 hour surgery to rebuild 8 vertebra in her back. So pray for mama.

That's about it. Super tired as usual. Must be doing something right. Love ya!

Elder Hanson (p.s. I finally got my nickname. Elder handsome. Yes that's really my nickname.)

Baptists, temples, and a man named princess

Again it's been another week. This week has been a tough week. Not only for the week but for myself also. It's just. Bah.

So Monday was good except I thought I lost my wallet and was freaking out. Especially while eating chipotle. Then we got back and I had just left my wallet on my desk because I'm stupid. We had exchanges and I had one of the zone leaders. His name is gooch.  I learned that I didn't really like the zone leader I was with. It's not that he's a bad person. It's just that he's really by the books type of guy.

So Tuesday rolls around and I got in trouble. A lot. This just reaffirms why I don't like transfers. It's a good learning experience I just don't like them.  So I didn't workout that morning. Got in trouble. Didn't read something with enough vigor. Got in trouble.

Watched training videos with earbuds in while he could see my screen.

Got in trouble. A seat separated us during a meal. Got in trouble. The smallest of things I did I got in trouble. And also he made me tract.

I hate tracting. They actually may be removing the practice in the mission. They are testing it out with another zone. But the icing on the cake is this story.

So Betty Joe. Neighbor to Melissa. She approached us because of a dropped pass along card. Super duper promising as in she came to church after the first lesson promising. And she loved church. She said it was interesting. Which is normal. So we read moroni 10.

Standard pray about it missionary scripture. We've shared this scripture a lot. So we do the run around and She mentioned she was having surgery. So I asked her when physically able will you attend church again? She replied probably not. Usually at this point we carefully and gently walking into the situation to figure out what.

Gooch decided to ask. Well why not? You should. It's good for you.

Gooch successfully hit 3 of the top twenty things you don't say to a new investigator. This point is where rock was thrown at the window. I got yelled at. Hard. I got yelled at by a really angry baptist lady. I love the baptists I really do. But man I hated them all at that point right then and there. She yells and yells and just generally releases hell fury and damnation upon our souls. She then says the following. "

I KNOW THE BOOK OF MORMON IS TRUE AND OF GOD! BUT I WAS BORN A BAPTIST, RAISED A BAPTIST, BAPTIZED A BAPTIST, I WILL DIE A BAPTIST! I AM A BAPTIST! I HAVE BEEN BAPTIZED I DO NOT NEED IT FOR YALL!" So Betty knows the Book of Mormon is true. Ok cool. But then she continues. "I BELIEVE THE BOOK OF MORMON HAS TEACHINGS OF GOD BUT THAT IT WASNT WRITTEN BY GOD" true true I wasn't written by God but guess what. The bible wasn't either. If I wasn't so emotionally shattered I would have fought back but I didn't. So I got her calmed down because I have a calming effect apparently. And now she no longer has lessons.

No more lessons. She has been dropped out of the iPads. So the morale of this story. Don't let anyone but your companion teacher new gators.

So Wednesday we had a temple tour with Melissa and she loved it. And cool fact about the orlando temple is that it attracts some freaky cool bugs. I got a picture of a leaf bug. It looks like a leaf. But it's a bug! Freaky cool bugs. They get them more in Orlando because in Leesburg we can't have anything nice. Stupid crime.

Thursday we checked on a media referral from head quarters. And we go and check it out to find out that the person we didn't live there. But we met Tamara instead. So we teach a little and we get the prompting to offer service. She was in tears. She said that her husband was disabled and she had so many medical problems that getting things done sometimes was just hard. She was so thankful that we had come  to offer service for her and her husband. Also Thursday was the day I started to teach myself the piano.

Friday we had impromptu service for a less active. Let me ask you this. Have you ever carried a washing machine up to the third floor of an apartment complex? Well I have. It flippen sucks. I'm glad that she was happy about it because man. That sucked. We also saw the westerns after their sickness round was over and they've been closing a few areas around the zone lately and since they like us more than anybody else we get first pickings off of the closures. This time we got.

Thumbtacks, a bunch more of handouts, an iron, a steamer, and a really nice clipper set! So now I don't have to pay 12 bucks for a haircut.

Wahoo. But in all honesty barbershops are way cooler than hair salons.

Saturday! Learn more piano that's about it.

Sunday! We went to church!!! What a surprise!!! We also had some recent converts want to take us out to dinner but we declined and encouraged them to do the same. KEEP THE SABBATH DAY HOLY KA! (ka - missionary slang. No one knows what it means or where It comes from.

It's just there). Melissa also got cold feet because of an interview with the bishop and then she talked to her mom and her mom said maybe you shouldn't get baptized! WOMAN DONT TELL YOUR DAUGHTER THAT WHEN YOUR A MEMBER AND YOU INTRODUCED YOUR DAUGHTER TO THE GOSPELS! But we got that settled. We then got a call. A really really weird call from a man named princess.

So backstory time. Remember Tamara from Thursday? Well her husband has had 3 brain surgeries. We don't know why but it happened. He called us and told us his name is...princess. Ya. Princess. I'll let you think about that for a second. So we get a call and he wants to have a bible study with us. This means to things. He either wants to study or he wants to bash. We felt like he wanted to bash so we brought out the big guns. Brother gray. So we're doing good and we pray for the spirit to be with us before we leave the car. And the spirit is with us but it's making me and pututau feel like we shouldn't be there. We knock on the doors and the spirit leaves. It just vanishes. We don't know why but it was interesting. No one ended up answering the door so we might never find out what would've happened.

So another week from Florida. Yes I know I have been keeping my hair wicked short but I save money on hair gel. Since ya know if it's short it's gunna fro out if it wants to fro out. Love YALL

Elder Hanson

Head trauma, a wedding, and police officers

Oh my goodness I'm tired. Oh goodness. This week has been a whirlwind of activity. Most of this past week I don't even remember most of what happened. That's usually what happens as a missionary. You just loose track of time. I have been so exhausted I have been going to bed early but I couldn't be happier even if I could talk to girls. Ok if I could talk to girls I would be a little bit happier but that's besides the point.

So we shall begin on Tuesday. There were exchanges and we lost elder Langston and sister Knutson but we gained a new trainee sister Woolley. We will get into that latter. We also found out that the moved the belle view elders out of the district so now me and pututau are the only elders left in the district. We also found an less active recent convert who hadn't been to church in about 6 months. She was baptized in Jacksonville and the only reason why she decided to start the lessons was because she thought that the elders were attractive.

She also got three tattoos after her baptism so we aren't completely sure if she joined the church for the right reasons. Her name is Ashley Widle and she is 18 and highly energetic around highly attractive missionaries such as ourselves.

Onto Wednesday!  So Wednesday I made some bomb Hershey's cookies and cream cookies and I'm going to be honest...they very pretty fetching amazing. But I made those for district meeting. So during district meeting I met sister Woolley from California. She's pretty cool. Elder pututau had a meeting right around lunch time so I had a very depressing meal of a MRE. Find out later it was expired. Explains why I had stomach pains for a few hours but hey I've had worse. That's pretty much all that happened on Wednesday.

Thursday. So Thursday I began fasting because we had a baptism. Things I learned from this fast. DO NOT PERFORM MOCK BAPTISMS WHILE YOU ARE FASTING!! I don't think I can stress how important that is. So we were at Lynn's house giving her the plans on what was going to happen on Saturday. We do a mock baptism. Now for this next part I want you to imagine me very hungry at 4 and pretty much drained of all strength.

Now imagine me trying to "dip" my 270 pound companion with no water.

Let's just say I drop him. He's holding onto me so I go down. We run into her entertainment center and her tv and I get a good sized bruise on my knee. Lynn at this point is laughing out of hilarity and most likely terror that I will drop her in the font. And then later me and pututau made a music video. That will come later.

Friday. So we start setting up for a wedding and a baptism. Original plan the pututau and I had was get them married in the bishops office and then eat hot dogs. some of the Relief society and the sister missionaries would not have it. The ended up helping us set up a nice modest marriage setting and also pulled together some personal resources to provide them with a nice dinner. The bishops wife even ended up making them a really tasty wedding cake.

Saturday. So we managed to have a wedding and a baptism All in an hour. That seems like a record for something. The baptism was perfect except for one detail. On the program it said pututau was baptizing her. Nope it was me. Made me prove my point to why I don't like our Ward mission leader. But other than that she was a one dunk. Not bad for my first baptism.

Sunday. Sunday makes it to the most interesting days of my mission list. So we got a phone call from the bishops son in law who is a nonmember asking us to get one of the family members. We do. Next thing we know the bishop says come with me and we are whisked away to the bishops house. We met Tyler the son in law and he's all cut up.

Turns out somebody tried to break in and he fought them off. So we get there and he's got cuts on him and he's got a machete and he's shaken up and it takes a lot to shake him up. So then the police get called and they get there and start chewing Tyler out for not calling immediately. I got pretty mad at the cop for treating him the way he was but I kept my cool. So long story short the cops didn't believe him and he chose not to press charges.

So crazy crazy week but I'm happy. Everything is just going really good in the mission minus the carpenter ants. But it's all so good. I will talk to you later.

Elder Hanson