Monday, January 12, 2015

Monsterpedes and other things of nightmares

Sooooo this week. Monday we had district P- day that was baller.
Wednesday we had president interviews and surprisingly mine was a whole 3 minutes. Also we had exchanges and I went to belle view and I met some really cool people. Willard ate all my food and rummage thru me stuff so I'm not returning his bath towel. Saturday I had a dinner from rich members. We had ham,mashed potatoes, corn, cornbread, and some freaky deaky Korean dish. Super good. Went church and finally got Melissa  Moore to church (she's our church of Christer) and she says she will attend four months of church and decide to get baptized after that. They never make it easy do they? Also I got a free frosty keychain from a member so my year just got made. Oh and we had to move Lynn's baptism date. AGAIN! What the heck woman! Just get married already! Dang Marshallese culture, they just don't think marriage is important. Also almost went to the hospital. ALMOST. I feel the need to show how important word is. I thought I was having a kidney stone because that's common out here. But hey I'm not there but I'm gunna keep an eye out for stuff like that.

So I'm gunna tell you a little bit more about florida. So I am in the northern part of the mission. Even tho they say it's the fifth most dangerous I don't care. Elder Hanson lives for danger!!! There's a lot of trees everywhere. Kind of like Georgia...😶. People around here run from us because we look like Feds down here so they think we are here to take them away. "RUN! It's the Feds!!" "No just the Mormons!" I learned the hard way not to try to make lemonade out of the lemons here. Worst stuff ever! We've been warned to watch out in some areas because we have all of our teeth so we be mad attractive. It's funny cause tourists will stop by the sides of the road and pick the wild oranges and lemons and grape fruits thinking "oh man this will be great!"  Five miles later there outside their car puking. You don't trust the wild trees. Ya just don't. I've seen my fair share of freaky bugs out here. I see a lot of dragon flies and butterflies. But I also see satans hell spawn. Monsterpedes are freaky huge and fat millipedes. Big cockroaches. Cuddle bugs are freaky black hairy bugs that are super fast and made of nightmares and small children's tears.
And love bugs. Stupidest things in the whole freakin world. They literally are two bugs stuck together flying in no pattern and there sticky. My goodness they are sticky. They leave a red goo when you squish em and also it turns out that there's a game to see who can hit the most out of the air. And then theirs bitters. Little tiny bugs that you can't see or feel but they bite you. Their bite is itchy and it comes in waves. You have to itch it till it bleeds and scabs over just so that it will stop. And last but not least forest scorpions.
Self explanatory.

So the food down here is pretty good. A lot of good ole southern cooking. Chicken an rice with the whole chicken, chops n shrooms, Mac n cheese everywhere, a lot of biscuits n gravy, and jambalaya. Also I eat an incredible amount of rice and green beans. More than you could even ever believe. The thing I eat the most. Either tacos or biscuits and gravy. Thing I love the most mama chiodos tacos. Things I hate.
biscuits and gravy. Things I am now sick of. Sausage. So much flippen sausage. Things I wish I could eat. Gator and seafood (comps allergic to seafood).

So I'm gunna fill you more in on members and investigators. Just so you can get to know them a little bit better. For starters the chiodos. Mama and papa chiodo are the nicest people to the missionaries in the ward. We can just pop by for a quick visit and they make us stay for dinner. She is a really good cook. Papa chiodo is an ex marine but you could never tell. He's too think that he could be a marine. Mama chiodo is a great cook and also an extreme couponer.
Before you judge I will tell you that she is one of the best assets for missionaries because she gives us so much stuff. And it isn't crap either. They give us good toilet paper, good eggs, and they even give us good bacon! They are truly the best. They had us for Christmas with all of their extended family when no one else would have us.

So this upcoming week we have a stake meeting. Boo. But we get to go to the temple of Friday! Yay! But we have to get up at 4 so we can catch a ride. What the fetch! But that's this week in a review.

Elder Hanson.

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