Death to palm trees

Another week! Fun fact to start off everything I hit my 2 month mark on Wednesday. It doesn't feel like it has been 2 flippen months! It feels like 2 weeks ago I said goodbye and entered the MTC. I look back and I miss the MTC. It was so much fun! I know that some don't feel that way but oh my goodness it was so good. The people you meet there within your zone or even out of your zone there is awesome. You learn to live with others. You don't have to cook. Most of the services there such as counseling and haircuts and such are free. Doctors appointments are only 10 bucks but are next to impossible to get in right away. Get use of a gym, track, weight room, and gender specific workouts. Man it's like the holiest little city ever. Good times. But anyways good week. Had a super spiritual time with Melissa. She asked for a blessing and we gave her one and immediately after she said.

"God let me know that I need to be baptized. Let's get me baptized" it threw us for a loop because Melissa was firm on church for 4 months before baptism. Me and pututau had Heavenly Father let us know when she need to be baptized. Guess he just had to tell her. Pututau will be baptizing her and I will be doing the confirmation.

So here's an update on Lynn Buelele (boo-lay-lay). SHE BE GETTING MARRIED! Funny story about that. So Monday she was gunna do it but flippen human rights day has to be a thing. So we moved it to the next day. The next day I was leading Leesburg west operations because it was exchanges so I call Lynn to remind her. "This number is not available" *click* so I try repeatedly because we had every detail setup for this. Eventually at 9:15 in the morning I make a decision and we drive over to her house which is a 16 mile round trip and we only have 38 per day. So we knock on her door several times before we get an answer and she was awake and getting ready so that was a miracle because I almost called the whole thing off. That is why we listen to the spirit.

So let's talk more about the crime ridden area. So literally on Saturday I witnessed a drug deal. Literally 5 feet away as we were teaching. Guy knocks on a door walks in. Comes out like 2 minutes later. He was jumpy of us too. But in all honesty it's not that bad.

So we chopped down a palm tree. When you look at a palm tree you don't ever think that there that dense. We were wrong. So very wrong. This thing 7 and a half feet tall and had been dead for a while. It took a while to get through it with a saws all but that's expected. Man when that thing fell it shook the earth. It was thick and just full of water. The dead palms were like 8 feet long, the boats (wooden parts of the tree that literally look like boats) were thick and 8 feet long. The thing was so heavy. One chunk prolly weighed about 700 pounds. Took three of us to get it where it needed to go. We also had to dodge the animals. Usually at the top of a palm tree you have spiders, scorpions, or snakes that live in the very top. Now these are all poisonous so we look back and it wasn't our shining hour of brilliance. But we got it moved so that's all good.

So here's an odd thing. Every single Jehovah's Witness I have met has been super kind and super friendly with us. They even ask about us and our mission which is weird but it's nice to not have to bash with them and their bible. So pututau became district leader so I can get away with a lot of things now. Also we be getting a new car! Woooooo! So that's pretty awesome.

This week's member spotlight is...barker. Sister barker is a mid fifties single lady who loves to feed us and has a demon cat. Oh and she hates me. Why does she hate Elder Hanson you may ask. It's because on Elder Hanson's 1st whole day in Florida we ate dinner at her house.

Me being me I said something smart and she ripped into me. But back to her. When ever she feeds us she makes us make her a plate and serve her. She makes us clean it all up and the dishes. She has a cat who literally hates every living thing on the planet. She's 350+ pounds and sleeps on an air bed with her cat. Consequently sleeping with the hell spawn of a cat it gets holes. She also frequently tells us about her irritable bowl syndrome. Here's a new development. She has been using church welfare for herself to feed the missionaries weekly. Each time she asks for a little bit more food. From now on she is no longer allowed to feed us. We are to not accept meals from us because it burns the church's welfare resources. But man she really does not like me at all.

Anyways that's been my life so far. We will talk to ya soon. Y'all have a good time now ya hear!

Elder Hanson

Turnpikes give me ulcers

So this has been an awesome week. We went from 3 gators with a bapt
date. This week we now have 6. Last week we had a goal of twenty
lessons and we hit twenty. This week we had a goal of 25 and we ended
up hitting 28. The work is progressing in Leesburg. One of our new
baptism gators actually lives in the same house as Lynn so not only is
Lynn being a friend for her (her name is Lina) but she is re learning
the lessons which is totes awesome. We are also picking up a new gator
with bap date during a breakfast hand off meeting so that'll be
awesome.

So let's see what else happened. Got told during a meal that a lady
doesn't wash her dishes. That was terrifying. Went to a thrift store
that was lame. Went to a pawnshop. Almost bought a samurai sword to go
all fruit ninja with. Almost burnt the apartment down. Found out that
turnpikes give me ulcers. And went to the temple. That orlando temple
is baller it's super pretty and has a really big celestial room and
the workers are just so sweet. It was an awesome experience. It was
perfect because we got there at 630 and it was cloudy so the spire was
being reflected onto the clouds with moroni.

So turnpikes are the worst. Also first experience with one was the
worst ever. So we went to the temple with brother gray. Sweet 86 year
old little guy who is possibly one of the best guys I've ever met. The
thing with brother gray is that he's an 86 year old driver. So
sometimes when we ride with brother gray we almost die. So we get on
the turnpike or attempt. Bro gray try's to pay thru a prepaid lane and
people behind us got very upset with us. They let us thru without
paying. Bro gray then proceeds to go In reverse to go pay them. Bless
his heart. They wave us on because hey we're going in reverse on the
turnpike. So we continue on and it being like 5 in the morning I start
to go back to sleep when all the sudden I hear and feel WAP-WAP-
WAP-WAP. And I wake up and shout "Rumble strips brother gray rumble
strips!" He then realizes hey these mean I'm close to running off a
cliff. I should probably move on over. It also doesn't help that he's
hard of hearing even with both hearing aids on. Everyone out here says
turnpikes are non stressful. They lie! There are reasons whys we as
missionaries don't do the turnpike. One it's stressful. Two the fees
to get on and off rack up. Three president Berry prefers that we don't
use them for our own safety. We are mostly all from Utah and Idaho out
here. We haven't seen anything like this before. Thank goodness the
gps can avoid those if I want it too.

So member spotlight. This week is the Husley family. Michael Husley is
a lifelong member but he fell off but is now coming back. Ashley is
his new wife and a recent convert of five months. Jesse is the oldest
son and he's 8 years old. Melody is 5 and she's a cute little curly
haired girl who gave pututau the nickname of marshmallow. And then
there Lilly. Lilly is almost 7 weeks old and she is adorable and
getting chunky. So we go them every Monday for FHE and try to teach a
lesson and usually fail because hey look young people within a sea of
saggy old people. I ask of anyone reading this to please pray for the
little boy. He was recently checked into a mental and behavioral rehab
for younger kids for homicidal thoughts against his family and
suicidal thoughts for himself. He's 8 and we really hope that he can
overcome this because until this is over he can't go home. So please
keep him in your prayers.

So I'm doing great. I can't believe that it has almost been two months
of my life. Time has no meaning out here because everyday is almost
the same. Just a little bit different. I still realize sometimes that
I'm actually in Florida. And not for just a short period of time
either. I now take charge of most things because of my training. Which
I can't wait until it is all done. Because then I can finally drive.

That's the life of a missionary. Be safe. Be good. Don't get into trouble.

Elder Hanson

Monsterpedes and other things of nightmares

Sooooo this week. Monday we had district P- day that was baller.

Wednesday we had president interviews and surprisingly mine was a whole 3 minutes. Also we had exchanges and I went to belle view and I met some really cool people. Willard ate all my food and rummage thru me stuff so I'm not returning his bath towel. Saturday I had a dinner from rich members. We had ham,mashed potatoes, corn, cornbread, and some freaky deaky Korean dish. Super good. Went church and finally got Melissa  Moore to church (she's our church of Christer) and she says she will attend four months of church and decide to get baptized after that. They never make it easy do they? Also I got a free frosty keychain from a member so my year just got made. Oh and we had to move Lynn's baptism date. AGAIN! What the heck woman! Just get married already! Dang Marshallese culture, they just don't think marriage is important. Also almost went to the hospital. ALMOST. I feel the need to show how important word is. I thought I was having a kidney stone because that's common out here. But hey I'm not there but I'm gunna keep an eye out for stuff like that.

So I'm gunna tell you a little bit more about florida. So I am in the northern part of the mission. Even tho they say it's the fifth most dangerous I don't care. Elder Hanson lives for danger!!! There's a lot of trees everywhere. Kind of like Georgia...😶. People around here run from us because we look like Feds down here so they think we are here to take them away. "RUN! It's the Feds!!" "No just the Mormons!" I learned the hard way not to try to make lemonade out of the lemons here. Worst stuff ever! We've been warned to watch out in some areas because we have all of our teeth so we be mad attractive. It's funny cause tourists will stop by the sides of the road and pick the wild oranges and lemons and grape fruits thinking "oh man this will be great!"  Five miles later there outside their car puking. You don't trust the wild trees. Ya just don't. I've seen my fair share of freaky bugs out here. I see a lot of dragon flies and butterflies. But I also see satans hell spawn. Monsterpedes are freaky huge and fat millipedes. Big cockroaches. Cuddle bugs are freaky black hairy bugs that are super fast and made of nightmares and small children's tears.

And love bugs. Stupidest things in the whole freakin world. They literally are two bugs stuck together flying in no pattern and there sticky. My goodness they are sticky. They leave a red goo when you squish em and also it turns out that there's a game to see who can hit the most out of the air. And then theirs bitters. Little tiny bugs that you can't see or feel but they bite you. Their bite is itchy and it comes in waves. You have to itch it till it bleeds and scabs over just so that it will stop. And last but not least forest scorpions.

Self explanatory.

So the food down here is pretty good. A lot of good ole southern cooking. Chicken an rice with the whole chicken, chops n shrooms, Mac n cheese everywhere, a lot of biscuits n gravy, and jambalaya. Also I eat an incredible amount of rice and green beans. More than you could even ever believe. The thing I eat the most. Either tacos or biscuits and gravy. Thing I love the most mama chiodos tacos. Things I hate.

biscuits and gravy. Things I am now sick of. Sausage. So much flippen sausage. Things I wish I could eat. Gator and seafood (comps allergic to seafood).

So I'm gunna fill you more in on members and investigators. Just so you can get to know them a little bit better. For starters the chiodos. Mama and papa chiodo are the nicest people to the missionaries in the ward. We can just pop by for a quick visit and they make us stay for dinner. She is a really good cook. Papa chiodo is an ex marine but you could never tell. He's too think that he could be a marine. Mama chiodo is a great cook and also an extreme couponer.

Before you judge I will tell you that she is one of the best assets for missionaries because she gives us so much stuff. And it isn't crap either. They give us good toilet paper, good eggs, and they even give us good bacon! They are truly the best. They had us for Christmas with all of their extended family when no one else would have us.

So this upcoming week we have a stake meeting. Boo. But we get to go to the temple of Friday! Yay! But we have to get up at 4 so we can catch a ride. What the fetch! But that's this week in a review.

Elder Hanson.

Florida it changes a man

So hello again it's been a busy busy week. We have a lot of teaching appointment with a lot of people. Most of them are less actives but that is just fine. We also found out that when ever we have multiple appointments cancel...we get a new gator. It's a weird thing to realize and have happen but it keeps happening so we are not complaining about it one bit.

So this week we did a lot of the usual stuff like service for crazy Diana sparklin, did laundry, ate food and stuff like that. But New Years was a cool New Years. So we ended up having a baptismal interview on that night with elder Langston (super cool DL) and his companion elder Willard (we like to shout his name in an annoying tone. WILLARD!) and me and elder pututau were being annoying and releasing confetti poppers off in their car. Langston thought it was funny. Willard (WILLARD!) on the other hand did not but he got over it. So since it was a baptism interview pututau, Willard(WILLARD!), and Hanson (that's me) we stood outside and played a few hands of uno on top of a trash can and watching New Years fireworks. And then they drove me and pututau home and we found things to do.

So on the 2nd me and pututau had the wonderful opportunity to make a 2 hour trek to orlando just so that I could get more rules and my iPad. Turns out teaching with an iPad way easier but way more dangerous especially in my area. MOM SKIP THIS NEXT PART!!!!!

So my area is as I found out the most dangerous area in the zone and here's why. One it's got a lot more slummy areas. Two there's a lot of drug busts. Three a lot of weapons float around out here. Four there's sand roads we are told not to go down on bikes. Five there's sand roads we aren't allowed to go down even in a car. Six there's a lot of reasons why I carry a knife on me now. Seven I'm a target now that I have an iPad. Now here's why you shouldn't worry. I am a 6' 3" 275 white guy who carries a knife on him wherever he goes. My companion is 6' 4" 260 Tongan who is going to play for the Utes. We have no reason to be afraid. Also I'm not in pine hills (crime hills).

So on Friday me and pututau were going to go get food when he made a sudden turn to Lynn's house ( she is the marshal islands lady). So she wasn't expecting us and we weren't expecting to go over there. But it was a good thing that we did because she was really confused about the wedding stuff and had no idea how they were gunna get it all done. We also while being there we got 2 referrals of some of her friends that live in the house with her. They've seen the change that has come thru her and also they want to be married to their man friends so that's fetching awesome.

So we have a family In our Ward and they just had a new baby and she got blessed. Little Lilly Anna Husley. This is great for two reasons. One this cute little girl got blessed. Two it made the husband get up and bear his testimony. So here's some background. Sister Husley is a recent convert so that's awesome but she just had a baby so she hasn't been able to make it church. Brother Husley he has been a lifelong member but fell away when he joined the military. Sadly now he has a few WOW problems but he want to baptize his step kids so we've told him to become a worthy priest holder and he's trying but he needs to try harder. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink.

So mother you will be happy to know a few things. I do my laundry and I fold it on a regular basis and nothing has changed colors. I actually cleaned the kitchen. Meaning I wiped it down,swept,mopped. All of my free will (also because if I don't do it. It won't get done). Also I bought a Florida flag and it now hangs on my side of the office and it is awesome!!!

So now we are at Monday. So early this morning we get a text message from Lynn that they don't have the money to get a marriage license (93.50 in the state of Florida) so we've been juggling that this morning and also since we are doing so good we got a specific goals from the zone leaders to teach 20 lessons this week. This is not a huge goal because me and pututau average 16-18 a week so it ain't gunna be anything difficult. Also since I tell people I'm from Idaho I am considered a cowboy who herds cattle all day. Grossly inaccurate I know. But hey all that mountain living makes it so that I can run really far out here without being winded.

So I'm excited for whatever else to come this week. I know there's gunna be challenges but that's ok because I know with challenges come blessings. Tater boy out!

P.S I got a haircut and I look way different 

Florida it changes a man - Elder Hanson

Elder Hanson

Sent from my iPad